Familiar Taste of Poison
by wweloverforever
Summary: I left searching for MORE out of life but SAMCRO is part of me, it's in my blood. - Martha Teller is home after several years. Not much changes but everything is different. This is the story of a young woman finding her place in the chaos of the Sons of Anarchy. Starts out OC/CHIBS then later becomes OC/JUICE
1. Welcome to SAMCRO and Charming

**NOTE: I am in the process of REWRITING the story. I loved it but I wanted to explain pre-season 1 when Martha meets Chibs and what happened to them before Martha and Juice. So please excuse the fact that I am taking down the first chapters and replacing them with new material. I promise we will be back to the MARTHA/JUICE GOODNESS soon...**

**With that said. This first part of the story begins when Martha first meets Filip "Chibs" Telford upon his arrival in Charming.**

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><p>This life. It's not for the weak of heart. Some chose this life because they love the danger, the excitement... the rush of what goes on. Some are forced into it because of the way they are raised or circumstances they've fallen into. Me? I was born into this life. My name is Martha Teller. I am the daughter of John Teller and Gemma Teller Morrow. My father died tragically in an accident years ago leaving my mother to remarry to her current husband, my stepfather, Clay Morrow. I have one sibling, my older brother, Jax. We had a brother, Thomas, but he died of heart failure at age six... and Mom never got over his death. Truthfully, none of us did.<p>

My father created a club when he was younger called the Sons of Anarchy (or SAMCRO for short) and built a thriving business in automotive repair around the club. When he died, Clay also took over the garage making it Teller-Morrow, another possession of my fathers he acquired. My brother and I had a decent childhood. Not to say growing up under Clay's roof was easy. In fact, it was just the opposite. It was hell on earth. If you breathed wrong and Clay thought you were doing it to spite him, you suffered the consequences. I don't think he cared much for Jax or me for that matter however, thanks to my Mom having him wrapped around her finger (as only Gemma _COULD_ do), most of the time we were left to our own devices.

As young adults, my brother and I are on different paths. He is a member of SAMCRO now and me, I'm the "_Princess_". I fucking hate that title. Princess. Nothing Princess about me. Yet the guys in SAMCRO call me that. Mom says it's a term of endearment, I say it's a fucking curse. Mom keeps pressuring me to go to college but I am not interested in leaving Charming. Not now. Not yet. The whole way to the airport she is lecturing me about how I need to start my life. I was born into THIS life and I know no other way. I don't want to. The idea of not being at Teller-Morrow makes me physically ill in my stomach. I half listen to her ramble as I watch the scenery passing by. Why we had to go pick up this new guy from Belfast is beyond me. Usually Clay didn't send Gemma and I on these kind of "_missions_". I sigh.

As we park and get out of the car I can hear the incoming flight landing. I sigh again. "What's shoved up your ass today?," Gemma barks out. I look at her, "Why are we here?" She smirks, "Because Clay and the boys are busy." "But why do I have to be here?," I roll my eyes. "Because, you are keeping _ME_ company," Gemma says over her shoulder as we walk to the waiting area. I make a mock face behind her back. No matter what people say, you are _**NEVER**_ too old to make faces behind your parents' backs. "So who is it we are picking up?," I inquired. "A new guy patching over from Belfast. He's Scottish from what Clay tells me," Gemma explained. A Scottish man patching in? This could get interesting. We stand for several minutes before Gemma spots our target. She looks at me and nods in his direction, "That's him." My eyes land on a rather nice looking man with jeans, a black shirt, and a leather jacket making his way to us. "Hello," he spoke his voice dripping with a thick Scottish accent. Damn. Accents make me completely lose my shit. Hello hotty Mr. Scotty. "You must be Filip," Gemma crossed her arms. "Yes ma'am," he replied. "Please. Calling me that makes me sound so ... old. Call me Gemma," She smirked. He nodded. Gemma continued, "This is my daughter, Martha". He looked me up and down and just nodded. Quiet type. Great.

Gemma cocked an eyebrow at the way I was looking at this new guy, "Come on Scotty," she huffed, "Let's get you back to TM." "My names **NOT** Scotty," he drawled out, "It's Chibs." Oooh, he sassed her...better watch it Scotsman. However, Gemma could care less, she had already hauled ass in the direction of the car leaving me standing with our new friend. "Chibs?," I couldn't help it. What the fuck was a CHIBS? His eyes looked over me, "It's Scottish slang, lass. It means shiv... knife." "Nice," I said sarcastically. He smirked at the look on my face. "Come on... CHIBS. Gemma doesn't like to wait." I lead him back to the car where Gemma had already lit up a cigarette and had one of those 'you're taking too long' looks on her face. Just what she HAD to get back to TM for was a mystery and one I would rather not indulge myself in thinking about. The least I know about what Gemma does, the better. She may be my Mom but the things she does sometimes goes beyond what I 'need to know'. Chibs opened the door for me. Gentleman. Wow. Those are _rare_ in SAMCRO. Score one for the Scot. It was during this exchange I noticed the scars on his face. One on each cheek. Wow. Those are deep. Wonder how he got those. I dismiss the thought. None of my business. I smile at him and nod bending to get in just as Gemma was cranking up. Hope Chibby here is ready for a wild ride. Gemma slams the car in reverse and jerks both Chibs and I back. Gemma smirks with a cigarette hanging half out of her mouth and slams it in drive screeching tires. "_DAMN IT ALL TO HELL_," Chibs laughs from the backseat. I just shake my head. Chibs... meet your Queen, Gemma Teller Morrow.

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><p>We arrive back to Teller-Morrow in record time thanks to the speed Gemma drives. When the car comes to a halt I almost kiss the damn pavement of the garage. Gemma already had taken Chibs into the clubhouse. Alexander Trager whom we all call TIG is standing there leaning against the wall as he smoked dying laughing at my expression. "Ya alright there babe?," He tries to hold back laughter but he fails. I simply scowl at him. He throws an arm around me, "Come on, you've had a hard day, time to pamper the princess." Hall-le-lu-yah. Gotta love when Tig knows I need some TLC. He pulls me inside the clubhouse with him and over to the couch, "Park that beautiful ass Princess, I'll get you a drink." I don't argue. Gemma's driving had made me a little nauseous. I look around to see Clay, Bobby, Gemma, and Chibs in the part of the clubhouse called the Chapel or Church... it's where the Sons meet to discuss club business. I rarely was allowed in. "TRAGER," I hear Clay shout as Tig brought me a drink. "Here ya go Mar," he scowled, "Looks like I'm summoned so my seduction of you will have to wait." I just roll my eyes at Tig. I am used to his flirtatious nature, he's been doing it since I became legal and I witnessed it way before then.<p>

I could see Tig enter the Chapel and Gemma leave. She looked over to me and shook her head, "SPOILED BRAT." "Queen Bitch," I retaliate. She smiles, "New guy might need you to show him around some, ya up to it?" "Yea yea yea," I took a sip of my drink, "I know the drill." "Good," she stated, "That's my girl." With that said, Gemma disappeared to do whatever the hell it is Gemma does when not in the office or doing SAMCRO errands. Clay steps out of Chapel. My stepfather is an intimidating man. His voice is one that can instill fear but his tall build and constantly scowling face... that's what's scary. "SHORT STUFF," he barks. God Dammit. I know he didn't call me that. I ignore him. Call me properly ya fucking asshole or don't call me at all. He looks around and see me on the couch sipping my drink. "HEY!," he yells toward me. I look up my eyes meeting his, "Yea?" His eyes slant, "Drive Chibs here out to the dealership and follow him back." WOW, that's fast work. Not even here an hour and they already set him up a Harley. Damn. I nod as I stand up.

Chibs quickly comes towards me, "Alrighty girlie, let's get going." "My name is not **GIRLIE**," I mocked him from a few hours ago, "My name is Martha. Mar for short and _only_ **if** I like you." I turn on my heel and walk towards the door. I hear him chuckle, "Well then, I better make sure to get on your good side lass." He follows me to my car, a black Pontiac Trans-Am 1980 style... my baby that affectionately I just refer to as my TA. He whistles, "Can you handle it lass?" I smirk as I open my door, "I can handle a lot more than you could _EVER_ imagine." He laughs loud, "I like you lass," he remarks as he gets in and I start up, "I have a feeling we're going to get along quite well." We are already out of the parking lot. "Thank god you don't drive like yer Mother," Chibs sighs. "No one drives like Gemma," I reply.

An awkward silence. I can't stand when that happens. I reach over and turn the radio on and thankfully DREAM ON by Aerosmith blasts. Chibs looks over at me and reaches for the volume turning it down, "Woah there lass, don't make me a deaf man. I have enough problems." I smirk, "Yea I imagine." "You mean you don't know?," he questioned. I shook my head, "Nope. I don't. Usually I am not allowed to know a lot of the details of certain situations so I just end up being kept out of the loop. Sucks but that's the curse of being the PRINCESS of SAMCRO." "Ah a curse eh?," he frowned, "That's rough."

I roll my eyes under my shades, "Don't patronize me Chibby." "Chibby?" "I am not some little _TART_," I snap. "Never said you were lass," he sighed, "Just sounded heavy to call being the Princess a curse." I glance over at him then turn my attention back to the road, "It's a curse. I was born into this life. I didn't ask for it. Yet... I don't want any other. It's in my blood." Chibs nodded, "It's a part of who you are lass, I get it." I looked at him, "Exactly. My father created this club. After he died my mother and stepfather stepped up to rule. One day my brother will sit in the President's seat." "And where do you fit in lass?," he asked.

"That's where it gets tricky," I began, "I am the Princess. I can't be a Son. I can't sit at the table. I can't ride. I can't do what the guys do." "Of course," he spoke, "An' ya shouldn't have to. You're a girl." "Fuck that," I snapped, "I can do anything you assholes can do and sometimes **BETTER** than the lot of you." I was steaming. Same ol' shit. Guys always thinking a girl is fucking helpless. I can kick their asses and still not crack a nail. Chibs' eyes looked over at me, "You are who you are lass. Can't change that." "Never said I want to," I spoke sternly, "I am just saying it's a lonely road to walk. I not allowed to do what you guys do... and being the Princess stereotypes me into being treated like I am fucking fragile. Not to mention that my stepfather, brother, and mother are always watching me so eyes are always on me. It's a curse Chibs."

I sighed. He looked at me. "It's a curse...," I whispered, "Sometimes I just want to be seen for _ME_... not the Princess." I pulled into the dealer, "We're here." He nodded and turned to me, "There could be a lot worse things to be in this life lass than the Princess of SAMCRO." I look at him and he smiles. I look down as he exits my car and I watch him walk into the dealership. "A lot worse things," I repeat. I frown, "You know _NOTHING_ Chibs." Nothing.

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><p>Two weeks had passed since Chibs arrived at SAMCRO. I had kept very busy with my music and various tasks around TM. The club had been equally busy doing their business. I hadn't seen much of my brother lately. If he wasn't on a run with the others he was buried in a crow eater (girl who sleeps around with club members trying to gain favor with them). Gemma was busy doing things with Luann Delany (Otto who is also a member of SAMCRO was just sent to prison and to help her cope Gemma is taking her out for a girls day).<p>

I was busy in the office at TM when Trager walked in, "Hey sweet stuff." "Hey Tiggy," I replied barely looking up from my paperwork, "What's up?" "Nothing," he sighed taking a seat on the couch, "Just wanted to see how my favorite girl is doing." My eyes meet his and I smile, "Gemma's with Luann today." "Oh ha ha," he mocked, "You know I meant you gorgeous." I stuck my tongue out as Chibs made his way into the office. I look up, "Hello." "Hi," he spoke softly. "What's up brother?," Tig asked. "I was wondering if Princess here wanted to go to lunch," Chibs inquired. My eyes shot up quickly looking at his smiling face. Lunch. Sure. Lunch with a friend. That would be nice. "Sure," I said, "I am drowning in all of this shit anyway. I need a break." "Awww," Tig sounded disappointed, "And here I was hoping you'd hang out with your favorite SAMCRO member today." As I stood and made my way to Chibs I looked over my shoulder to Tig, "I would but Bobby's on a run." "That hurt Princess," Tig held a hand over his heart, "That hurt right here."

I blew him a kiss as Chibs and I made our way to his new Harley. "Awesome choice, by the way," I smiled admiring the bike Chibs had picked. He smiled and offered me a helmet. I took my place behind him holding onto him. We drove a little outside of charming to this little diner. I had been there a couple of times with Jax but never on my own. Never like this. "Some of the guys were talking about this place, wanted to give it a try," Chibs explained. "Jax brought me here a couple of times," I sighed. "You wanna go somewhere else lass?," he asked. "No," I replied, "I love this diner." He nodded and we made our way inside and took a seat. Looking over our menus Chibs looked up, "Order anything you want lass, it's on me." I shook my head, "Nope, I got this one. You're still new..." "Lass," he argued, "I asked you so it's on me." I sighed knowing I wouldn't win against this stubborn Scot. I was powerful hungry. I had skipped dinner the night before. Meatloaf. ICK. And I didn't have time to grab anything having overslept from playing video games all night.

My stomach growled and Chibs looked over his menu, "Well nice to know someone has an appetite." I blushed, "Yea um... sorry. I didn't eat last night or this morning." "Why not?," he looked a little concerned. "Gemma cooked her meatloaf and I honestly can't stand it. It's in the 3rd stage of experimental," I looked down. Chibs raised an eyebrow questioning me. "Meaning this is the 3rd time she's added something NEW to the mix," I sighed and make a yuck face, "first time was plain, then she added some kind of eggplant, now she said she added some kind of squash. I ain't touching it." Chibs laughed, "Don't blame ya there. Not overly fond of that dish myself."

Nice to know I am not the only meatloaf hater, "Good. If she ever invites you to meatloaf night say you and I made arrangements to go out for the night." Chibs looked at me, "A date lass?" "I don't date," I stated. "Bullocks," he replied. "Nope it's true, I don't date. Can't." "Can't or won't?," he sipped his tea. "A mixture of the two," I put put down the menu and looked right at him, "Can't because of Clay, Jax, and Gemma plus the other members of SAMCRO would give anyone I decided to get serious with hell. Won't because as much as I don't want to be alone, I would rather be alone than have someone I care about HURT for associating with the PRINCESS of SAMCRO." Chibs' eyes met mine, "Can't be alone forever lass." "It's the curse," I said. "No curse Lass," Chibs replied quickly, "except the one in your head. You need to take a step back from that curse shit. It's not healthy for ya."

My eyes slanted at him and he continued, "You are smart, young, beautiful... a lot going for you lass. Can't let others dictate to you what you should and shouldn't do with your own damn life." WOW. He's right. "I..." I was really at a loss for words, "My problem is that once I get close to anyone Clay, Gemma, and/or Jax will chase them away. If not then the club comes down hard on them with their protectiveness and jabs they make." Chibs smirked, "That's SAMCRO lass. You're the Princess. No matter where you go, what you do... that's with you. But you don't have to let it DEFINE you." I was picking at my fries. I hate to admit the new guy was right but he was. I look at him. He's got a great smile, even with the scars.

Chibs caught me staring. "Sorry," I shouldn't have been so damn obvious. "It's alright lass," he sighed, "Lots of people stare at 'em. At least you aren't rude about it." I looked at him, "What happened?" Chibs took a moment and a heavy weight seemed to exhale from him, "I ran into a particularly shady character in the IRA." "Wow," was all I could say. "He didn' like me... gave me what they call the Glasgow Smile which is these scars." I looked down, "Sorry." "Not the worst of it lass," he replied, "He took my wife and daughter. Claimed them as his own." Shit. That's rough. He looked down, I could see the sadness. My hand instantly covered his, "I am _SO_ sorry, Chibs." His eyes looked up at mine and I could see him fighting back the tears, "It's alright lass. Nothing can be done." "Can't you fight back?," I asked. "Against the IRA? Not a chance. It's a lost cause," he sadly revealed. I felt bad I brought up a painful subject to him. "I didn't know Chibs," I looked down, "Didn't mean to bring it up." Chibs' hand covered mine, "I know lass. I don't blame ya."

Look at us... a man who has lost everything and a Princess who can gain nothing. Don't we make a sad pair? We finished our food in silence and walked out to the bike. "I am sorry," I couldn't stand the silence and I felt I needed to apologize again. Chibs turned to me, "Lass, quit apologizing. Ya didn' know. I don' blame ya." I nodded and took my place behind him. "Tell ya what lass," he spoke over his shoulder, "You need a friend and I wouldn't mind having one myself." "You want to be friends with me?" "Why not lass?," he smiled big, "In your situation you have limited options as much as I do. Not really one for socializing outside of SAMCRO." "You're right about that," I replied, "Most are scared when they see the cut or know you're associated with the club." "So the way I see it lass, we could benefit from a friendship, what do ya say?" I could use a friend. One who doesn't try to get in my pants constantly. And from the way it looks Chibs could use the same. "Deal," I found myself agreeing. He smiled big and cranked the bike.

A friend. Hmmm. This is the beginning of a new adventure for me. Might be nice. Then again... most things I am involved in end in trouble. I frowned as Chibs drove down the streets in Charming. The last thing he and I need is trouble. I'll have to tread carefully. But it will be nice to finally have someone who listens. I hug tight to him. A friend. Yea. Everyone needs one of those.

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><p><strong>Reviews WELCOMED<strong>


	2. Full House Slave

**NOTE: I am in the process of REWRITING the story. I loved it but I wanted to explain pre-season 1 when Martha meets Chibs and what happened to them before Martha and Juice. So please excuse the fact that I am taking down the first chapters and replacing them with new material. I promise we will be back to the MARTHA/JUICE GOODNESS soon...**

**With that said. This first part of the story begins when Martha first meets Filip "Chibs" Telford upon his arrival in Charming.**

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><p>Lots of time has passed. I've kept busy in the office at TM and writing my music. The club is busy with various things. I heard whispers of a Mayan internal war and something about running guns... but I just dismiss it all. Jax has royally pissed me off lately. After his "<em>true love<em>" Tara bailed on him and left Charming some time ago Jax _SWORE_ he'd never fall in love again yet here he comes to dinner a few nights ago bringing this tramp named Wendy with him. She hung all over him. Disgusting. What a tramp. As bad as any crow eater or sweet butt. My brother has no taste. I had excused myself during dinner to go out back when Chibs joined me. He's been doing that a lot lately. Anytime I look lonely or am alone, along comes the Scot to try to make me smile. Damn he's cute. Control Martha. He's married.

It's been several days now since that night and I look up from my writings to see Bobby lounging at the picnic table with Tig saying something while throwing his hands wildly in the air. Chibs is there looking bored as he stares down at his hands. I smirk, I usually am bored with Trager's too. They usually involve some sick sex scenario. I shake my head but look up again to see a smiling handsome Scot standing in front of me, "What ya doin' lass?" Well hello there ya sexy bastard. "Just my music as usual," I replied. How can he wear that damn leather jacket in 90 degree weather? Damn. Take it off... please. He smiles, "Ya are always at it." I smile, "Yea, keeps me busy. I've been writing music since I was able to write." Chibs takes a seat beside me and looks over my shoulder reading my lyrics out loud, "Only your mind can heal the test that comes from a broken heart...," his brow frowns, "Who broke your heart?" "No one," I reply. It's true. I haven't had a date in ... _FOREVER_... and I wasn't attached. No one had hurt me it's just a lyric I came up with. "Then why write that?," he asked. "It just seemed to come out," I sighed, "I can never explain it. Sometimes the lyrics flow freely other times I have to think really hard to make them actually take form." "Either way," he lit a cigarette, "Ya are a genius lass, can't wait to hear you sing it." "OH NO," I quickly shut my notepad, "NO NO NO NO." "Wha?", he smirked. "I don't...", I jumped up away from him, "I am not singing. I write just for fun Chibs." "Maybe you could sing it to me in private one day," he smirked. Quit teasing me you sexy bastard. "Nope, not gonna happen," I reply.

"HEY MAR!," I hear Bobby yell out. Bobby Munson was SAMCRO's secretary and did some Elvis impersonating on the side. He's quite good. "YEA?," I yell back. "Gonna play cards, ya want in?," Bobby yells. I look over to Chibs, "Ya play cards right?" "Aye," he smirked. "Alright then," I smile turning to yell back to Bobby, "We'll be right there Bobby." He nods as he and Trager disappear into the clubhouse. "Well," I turn back, "Ya coming Chibby or are ya chicken?" "I ain't scared of the likes of you lass," he shoulder bumps me. Tease. "So then let's make it interesting," I say as we slowly walk. "What do ya have in mind lass?" "If I win more hands than you, you are my slave for a week," I declare. Sounds damn good to me. My own personal Scottish slave boy. "And if I win more? What can I have?," he asks. I stop cold. Damn. Forgot there's THAT chance, "What do you want?" He smirks wickedly. Uh-Oh. This could be trouble. "If I win," he begins, "You have to sing me a song in private." Ah well, not as bad as it COULD have been. "Deal," I smile and shake his hand, "But you're not gonna win Chibby." I smirk playfully winking. He passes me and his hand pops my ass playfully. _WHAT THE..._ "We'll see about that Princess," he laughs as he enters the club house.

Yea, this is gonna be trouble.

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><p>5 games in and it's not looking good for ol' Chibs. I am up 2, he's got one win, Trager won the other 2, and Bobby's sitting there pouting like a kid who got told he can't have that candy bar he wanted. "Damn, I fold," Bobby sighs. "Don't feel so bad Bobby," Tig smirks, "Some one's gotta lose." "Fuck you Tig," Bobby bites back. I look at my hand. I love Texas Hold 'em. Best fucking game ever. Cards showing on the table are a Queen of Hearts, Jack of Spades. My hand has a Queen of Spades, Queen of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, 2 of Clubs, and a 10 of Clubs. I put down the 2 and 10 to get a Jack of Diamonds and the Jack of Clubs. FULL Fucking House. I show no emotion. Actually I just take a sip of my Dr. Pepper. "Come on Chibby... whatcha doin," I coo at the Scot who looks like he's concentrating on disarming a bomb instead of playing cards. "I'm goin' Princess. Don't twist yer panties in a knot," he drawls. "Beautiful lacy panties probably," Tig replies. "Pervert," I kick him under the table. "So they ARE lace?," Tig teases. "None of your fucking business Trager," I reply. "I can see them now, black... lacy, on that beautiful full ass. Love to tear them off with my teeth...", Trager was interrupted by Bobby clearing his throat and motioning toward the door as Clay walked in.<p>

"Evening Gents," Clay greeted then he stopped seeing me leaning back with my legs in Tig's lap as usual, "Princess." I look up at my stepfather. He had let that word Princess drip from his mouth like acid. "Clay," I acknowledge him. "And just what the hell are you doing with my boys?," Clay asks as the other 3 cards are revealed - a 6 of diamonds, a 4 of spades, and a 7 of clubs. "Trying to beat their asses as Texas Hold 'em," I smirk. Clay frowns, "Don't bruise their egos too much kid." He heavily walks into the Chapel and slams the door. Good. Stay in there ya fucking Brute. Leave me alone. Don't need your fucking smart ass jabs cramping my... "2 of a kind," Tig says laying down the 9 of Diamonds, 9 of Spades, a 2 of Spades, an 8 of hearts, and a 3 of clubs. "Ouch," I reply. Chibs raises an eyebrow. I look to him, "OK Chibby, your turn." He smirks, "Full house." He lays his cards out... an 8 of diamonds, an 8 of clubs, and a 9 of clubs. Fuck Not bad Scotsman. "Alright lass," he teases. "**QUEENS AND JACKS... FULL FUCKING HOUSE.**" 3 jacks and 2 queens will beat his hand. I win.

"GOD DAMN," Chibs sighs. Tig just whistles, "Nice." Bobby frowns. I am on my feet and shaking my ass. "I told ya," I boasted, "I'm just THAT good." "I bet you are Princess," Tig teases again. "CHURCH," Clay's voice booms. "And with that," I proudly boast, "I WIN CHIBS." He frowns, "Yea yea, you win Princess, you win." I walk over to him and smile, "My slave for a week?" "When not on club business," he replies, "Aye, I am." I smile and lean up kissing his cheek as I whisper, "You are SO in trouble. BYE!" I run from the club house leaving a startled and confused Chibs with his hand where I kissed him on his cheek. He has no idea what he's in for. No idea what so ever.

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><p><strong>Reviews WELCOMED<strong>


	3. Escaping 2 Dangers

**NOTE: I am in the process of REWRITING the story. I loved it but I wanted to explain pre-season 1 when Martha meets Chibs and what happened to them before Martha and Juice. So please excuse the fact that I am taking down the first chapters and replacing them with new material. I promise we will be back to the MARTHA/JUICE GOODNESS soon...**

**With that said. This first part of the story begins when Martha first meets Filip "Chibs" Telford upon his arrival in Charming.**

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><p>I have my own personal Scotsman slave. I smirk as I watch him wash my TA in the driveway. "Make sure my Trans Am shines Chibby," I smirk as I lay back on the beach chair in my black bikini watching him from beneath my shades. Him in his tank top, tight jeans... damn. Give a girl a lady boner. "Aye lass," Chibs replies, "Working me to death." "No I am not," I exclaim, "You've only washed my car, taken me shopping, taken me to get ice cream, and helped me fix Mom's air conditioner." "Yea," he replied, "Ya killing me lass." I roll my eyes. "Bitch Bitch Bitch," I tease, "If I wanted a bitch I'd go get Gemma... now wash that car Chibby." He smirks raising the hose, "Lass..." "<em>Don't you fucking dare<em>," I yell as he let's it go and I am drowned. Lucky I am not one of those kind of girls who cares about getting my hair wet or anything wet for that matter. But God Damn It. I am soaked. "**FILIP FUCKING TELFORD**," I yell as he laughs, "**YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD.**" I am almost at him when he turns to run but I jump on his back.

"Get off," he shouts. "NOPE," I huff almost out of breath. "YA SOAKING WET YA DAFT GIRL," he's really pissed. "NOPE," I yell again, "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN ME WET." Before I could do anything he had flipped me around on him and had me almost bridal style in his arms, "I bet I could do more than that lass." Fucking tease. "OK OK, let me down," I sounded defeated. His eyes met mine. Oh no. No. Don't. His lips were soft as they danced over mine and then engulfed mine in a full on kiss. I couldn't think for a moment but then the first thing that hits my messed up brain is how I wish he'd just take me. Then my brain finally kicked in with the smarts... **HE'S MARRIED MARTHA STOP THIS NOW.** I jump down and back. Out of breath. He was too. This wasn't happening. I can't. Not with him. It would only end up with one of us if not both hurt. "Lass I..." "Don't," I raised my hand, my back still turned to him. I wanted to cry. I enjoyed that kiss. More than I should have. It's one of those kind that you really just want to keep going to see if you end up naked and satisfied by the end of it.

I turn to see Chibs. His head is down. He looks like a sad puppy and my heart breaks a little. "Chibs," I softly whisper and his eyes met mine the regret is there... and it kills me. "Lass I didn't mean ...," his voice cracks. "We're done here Chibs," I reply. I had to get him out of here and back to the club so this didn't happen again. He looked down again. Break my heart Chibs. "Aye lass," he sounded broken, "I'm going to head back to TM." I nod and he just leaves. I hear the Harley take off and I sigh heavily. Damn it.

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><p>It had been a week since Chibs kissed me. We had avoided each other like the plague. I couldn't stand it. Chibs had become my greatest friend. Truth is. I missed him. Sitting at TM I watched the guys pull up on their bikes. My brother looked over at me and smirked. I waved and he raised his hand before following Clay and Bobby inside. Tig made his way over to the girls who had just gotten out of a corvette, obviously trying to sweet talk them into more than they bargain for. Chibs was walking my way. Oh no. Fuck. I have no idea how to handle this. I keep thinking of that kiss. His lips. I have to get control. He's married. He has a daughter... he has... beautiful eyes.<p>

"Hi," he spoke gently. "Hi Chibs," I smile sweetly. One word and my stomach turned flip flops. "I don't know what to say lass, I've gone over it a million times in my head," he looked lost and I knew he was sorry. "It's done Chibs," I explain, "It's past. Let it go. Let's just get back to normal, okay?" He nods and then smiles, "I've missed talking to ya lass." "I've missed you too." He smiles even bigger. Okay... I'm in trouble again. That smile is killer. Those eyes... they are hypnotic and not to mention his voice melts me like hot butter over popcorn every time he speaks.

"CHURCH," Clay's voice rings out into the yard. Chibs sighs, "Later lass," I nod as he walks away. I watch him leave. Regret is a bitch and it's making me it's slave. I regret kissing him. I am no man stealer. I am no home wrecker. I've beat myself up over that kiss for the better part of a week and I still can't forgive myself. I get into the TA. I wanted to vanish. I drive. I can't forget how good it felt. I am mad at myself for even thinking THAT. As I pull into the parking spot at the store I hear the wolf whistles. I roll my eyes. God Damn fucking Mayans. What are they doing here?

"Isn't that the SAMCRO PRINCESS?," I hear as I walk by. Fuck. "Yea yea, that's her," a Spanish voice says. My feet pick up the pace. "Where ya going mamacita?," One of them yells at me. I enter the store. Fucking wetback assholes. I sigh. I dial the clubhouse. Come on pick up, pick up, pick up. "TELLER-MORROW," a thick Scottish accent says. Thank fucking god, "Chibs..." "Lass, what's wrong?," he sounded really concerned. "Mayans," I reply in a whisper, "Outside in the parking lot. They remarked how they knew I was the Princess." "Fuck," he replied, "Clay, Bobby, and Tig just left on a run..." "Chibs..." "Lass, Don' panic," he calmly said, "I'll be right there." "I'll be inside Chibs, hurry." "Aye Lass," he replied, "I'm coming for ya." The phone went dead. Damn. Hurry up.

I heard the Mayans come into the store. FUCK! No No No. This isn't going well. I try to maneuver through the aisles to avoid them. So far, I am successful. That is until... "Hola Senorita," I hear in a Spanish accent. I'm fucked. I turn to see this nasty looking Mexican standing in the aisle looking like he could eat me alive. "Aren't you a pretty thing," he says. "She's good enough to eat Chico," another one says from behind me as I bump into him and he holds me in place with his hands on my shoulders. "She's a tasty little thing," the big nasty one says. "Bet she tastes as good as she looks," the other one replies. "She's not for you lads," I hear that beautiful Scottish accent and I know my savior is here. "Oh yea," the nasty Mexican says, "And who is she for then?" "She's mine," Chibs replies. "I don't see no mark on her Ese," the other Mexican smirks. "She don' need a mark, she's mine," Chibs stays his ground. That's my Scot. "Let her go an' we'll forget this," Chibs calmly speaks. I think that's when they noticed he was a SON because the nasty one looked a little scared, "Let her go Emilio she's not worth it." The other Mexican released me and I ran to Chibs who protectively put his arm around my waist as I buried my face in his cut. "Thank ya lads," Chibs said as he began to back us up, "Now we'll be leavin' if ya don't have any objections." The Mexicans stayed quiet and Chibs smirked, "Have a nice day lads."

Chibs guides me with his hand on the small of my back outside, "Leave the TA lass, we'll come back for it, I wanna get you back to TM before..." The door slide open and we see those Mexicans not looking so pleased. "Get on lass," Chibs said in a warning voice. Fuck. I jump on and slam the helmet on as Chibs takes off. Yep. They are on our tails. Just our luck. "HOLD ON LASS, I'LL GET US OUTTA THIS," Chibs yells over the bike engine. I sure hope so Chibs. They are following on their bikes so closely it scares the fuck out of me. We round a corner and out of no where a big black car cuts Chibs off. Chibs slams on the breaks but we end up sideways and grounded. "YA ALRIGHT LASS?," he asks as he helps me up. I nod. "Can ya run?," he questions and I try to put pressure on my right ankle but it buckles, "NO." He scoops me into his arms and off we run. We hear the Mexicans shouting various things as we round the corner and into a building. Chibs holds me close as he surveys the area and spots a door, "It's our best bet lass." I nod and he runs for it closing it and locking it. It's a small room. He sits us against the wall in the corner furthest away from the door. He places a finger to his lips and I nod in understanding. We hear Mexican voices.

I turn into Chibs' chest not wanting to face the reality that those Mexicans could find us and kill us. Chibs strokes my hair as he holds onto me tightly. We hear them say they think we are in one of the rooms. Damn. "Chibs..." I cling to Chibs harder and he sweetly smiles to me, "shhh lass," he whispers. I sweetly place my hand on his cheek. The Mexicans are closer, I can hear them. Shit. This could be it. Fuck it. I reach up and pull Chibs down into a passionate kiss. He returns it with as much desire as I had put into it. Our tongues dance as he deepens the kiss. I almost moan into it but I hear the Mexicans shouting just beyond our door. I pull Chibs into the kiss more and I hear him let out a low growl. Thankfully not one the Mexicans could have ever heard. His hands are on my waist and mine are flat on his chest. This kiss... it's everything. Everything I could imagine. Not bad for a last kiss.

Chibs pulls back and I do too. He cups my cheek. "I think they went through the back doors," I hear a Mexican say. The sounds of running away from our door could be heard. Thank God. Chibs looks relieved. I suddenly look guilty. I kissed him this time because I thought it would be... "Lass," he spoke sweetly, "How's your ankle?" "Sore," I reply with my head down. His finger lifts my chin and he smiles, "Sweet girl... you have no reason to be ashamed." I blush, "I..." Chibs leans in and his lips again find mine. I can feel his hands ghost against my back and pull me closer against him. I moan into the kiss this ignites something in Chibs as he cups my head in both hands and kisses become more passionate. I have to stop this. I have to... His hands are now sliding around the bottom of my shirt. He finds skin and his fingers are so delicately touching me. He eases me back onto the floor as his lips never leave mine. I can't think straight all I know is this man kisses like the devil and I am on fire.

Chibs' hands are sliding up and cupping my breasts. I moan and arch against his body. He grins against the kiss and stops to look down at me (I must look like a wanton slut), "Lass ya don't know what ya do to me." I smile, "And you have no idea what you do to me." Chibs smile is huge as he dips down to claim my lips again. He humps against me and I gasp at the feel of him through his tight jeans. His lips kiss down my neck. "Chibs," I moan. My thoughts are not coherent. If they were I'd... Oh god his lips dip between my breasts and he grins at me, "Martha." He said my name... it sounded so fucking sexy. He lifts my shirt up and over my head and his eyes devour me. "So beautiful," he whispers, "So fucking beautiful." I blush under his gaze. Chibs' hands cup my breasts and he smiles, "Black lace... Tig was right." I laugh a small laugh but am stopped when his lips dance over the top of the lace.

I arch against his body and his hands are working the clasp to my bra. My mind is racing. I have to stop. We can't. His lips kiss at my neck. I have to stop this, "Chibs..." "Lass..." "Chibs..." "Martha..." My bra is undone and he starts to pull it and I stop him. "Chibs... we ... " His eyes grow large as if he realizes what we were doing... he sits back and stares at me. I reach back and re-hook my bra, just staring at him. God I want this man. I want him... but I can't have him. I sadly look down and Chibs sighs, "Lass... I am ..." I look back at him, "Don't say sorry Chibs. You're not sorry." He smirked, "No lass, I'm not. You're beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have you want him, kiss him..." I smile sweetly, "Any woman would be lucky to have you want them..." Silence as we smile at one another. Both not knowing what to say but knowing we had to stop this before it got out of hand.

"Think they're gone?," I ask. Chibs shrugs, "I think we should wait an hour then go. Give 'em time to think we are far away and give up." I nod still in my bra... I feel exposed. I blush. Chibs smiles, "Ya are gorgeous lass." I look up at him. He moves closer. "Chibs...," I warn. He cups my cheek, "Lass, I am crazy about you." "You're married," I state the fact. He frowns, "I know." "And if I know you like I've gotten to know you Chibs, you aren't about to divorce her for me," I say as I mentally wish he would do the exact opposite. He looked down. "I can't blame you Chibs," I put my hand over his and he looks into my eyes. "You could always be my lady Martha," Chibs replies, "You could be my..." "What?," I quickly interrupted, "Mistress?" He smirks but I shake my head, "I don't want that Chibs." He sighs, "But then I could have you lass." "And I would be a whore. Bad enough holding the title of Princess," I explain, "I damn sure don't want the other one." Chibs frowned and ran a hand through his hair, "Guess it doesn't matter if I want ya huh lass?" I smile again and lift his chin so his eyes meet mine, "And I won't lie to you now Chibs. I want you too... but I deserve more than the title of a mistress." "What about lover?," Chibs asked.

I shook my head again. He was trying to find anything... and I don't blame him for that either. I was scanning my brain too trying to find something to justify us being together. But all I can think of is his wife and their daughter and how I would be hurting them... and my heart, my conscience wouldn't allow it. "Filip," my voice was soft. "I love it when you call me by my name lass," he pulled me back into his arms looking at me with every bit of desire he probably could feel. My hands went to his chest in protest, "Chibs, I won't do this to you... to your wife, to your daughter." He went rigid. I felt it. He backed away releasing me. He looked away. "Chibs... I didn't mean to..." "No lass," he spoke sadly, "You're right. As much as I want you to be wrong, you're not." I smiled and he smiled. "Let's get you home lass," he helped me up, I slipped on my top, and we made our way to the door. He opened the door and looked out. Seeing it as clear he helped me out and we made our way back to the bike. I stood there as he slowly picked the bike back up. "Is it ok?," I asked. He nodded, "Ya ready?" I nodded and he helped me on the bike taking his place and starting the Harley up.

I felt at ease once I saw the name Teller-Morrow. As Chibs helped me off, Bobby, Tig, and Gemma had come out of the clubhouse. "Oh my God," I heard my mother say, "What happened?" Tig had his arms around me and Gemma was on my other side. "Mayans," Chibs replied, "They cornered her at the store. Then followed us to the warehouses. Dropped the bike when they cut us off. She twisted her ankle. So, we hid and waited." "Smart move," Bobby said as Clay walked up. He had heard it all. "Lucky to be alive, the both of ya," Clay barked. I looked at him through slits. Gemma spoke next, "Let's get you inside and some ice on that ankle. Tig scooped me up bridal style, "I got ya babe." "Thanks Tiggy," I smiled. Gemma hot on our heels. I glanced over Tig's shoulder to Chibs who smiled back at me, both of us knowing we had avoided 2 bad situations today. One that could have gotten us killed and the other that could have ended our lives.

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><p><strong>Reviews WELCOMED<strong>


	4. Facing Fiona

**NOTE: I am in the process of REWRITING the story. I loved it but I wanted to explain pre-season 1 when Martha meets Chibs and what happened to them before Martha and Juice. So please excuse the fact that I am taking down the first chapters and replacing them with new material. I promise we will be back to the MARTHA/JUICE GOODNESS soon...**

**With that said. This first part of the story begins when Martha first meets Filip "Chibs" Telford upon his arrival in Charming.**

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><p>My regret was eating at me for the next few weeks. I was avoiding Chibs and finding every excuse to stay away from TM. Eventually though, Gemma caught on I was playing avoid 'something' and she made me stay in the office to do the paperwork. I sighed as I looked out of the window. The guys were in the yard. Chibs kept looking at the door of the office. Don't do it Chibby. I have nothing to say. Clay came out of the clubhouse, "Let's ride." Everyone put on helmets and cranked up pulling off one by one. Chibs was last looking back at my door. Go Chibs just go. He sighed and looked down. I felt a heavy pang in my heart. This isn't how I wanted it to be between us. Chibs is a great man. A great friend. I have to work out these feelings and get myself into the right frame of mind.<p>

A white sedan pulls into TM and a woman with frizzy hair gets out. I can't see her well from here but Gemma turns to look. "Fucking hell," she exclaims. "What?," I ask. "Fiona." "Who?" "Chibs' wife," she replies. "Here?!," I am shocked. What would she be doing here from overseas? "This isn't going to be pretty," Gemma announced as she threw open the office door and proceeded to the woman. "What the fucking hell are you doing here, Fiona?," Gemma said in a demanding tone. "I am here to find the tart who's fucking my Filip," Fiona demanded. Oh fuck. I want to slink back into the office and hide under the desk. Chibs and I had done nothing but kiss and fondle... surely she isn't here for that. "What are you talking about? There is no one here except Crow Eaters and Sweet Butts who would dare consider fucking him," Gemma smarted off. That's my mom, throwing gas onto a fire. "_Where_ are these tramps?," Fiona demanded again. Damn she's pissed. I better turn around and... "And who's this?," Fiona was pointing to me. Oh lord. "This is my daughter, Martha," Gemma grinned like a Cheshire Cat.

Fiona walked up to me, "Do you know who Filip is seeing?" I shook my head. "Can ya not talk lass?," she questioned me. "I can talk just fine," I replied, "I just chose not to acknowledge stupid questions." Oh shit. I am so my mother's daughter. Her eyes closed into slants as the sounds of the guys returning echoed through the yard. Our attentions turned to that. As Chibs got off his bike his mouth fell open seeing Fiona inches from me with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. "Fiona," he exclaimed as he headed our way, "What are ye doing here lass? Where's Jimmy O?" "I was able to get away for a few hours to try and find out who the slut is your fucking Filip," she replied angrily. His eyes went wide, "What are ya talking about?" "That message ya sent me about a possible divorce. Christ Filip what in the bloody hell are ya thinking?," she popped him upside the head. Gemma and I just stood and watched. He contacted her about a divorce? _OH MY GOD._ What have I done? "So who is she? Is it one of these Sweet Butts or Crow Eaters Gemma claims are around? Or is it this little tramp?," Fiona pointed to me. "**HEY!**," I exclaimed. "_**DON'T YOU CALL MY DAUGHTER A TRAMP,**_" Gemma said ready to fight. "Well how about it girlie?," Fiona was backing me up, "You fucking my husband?" "What?," I was shocked and trying to back up at the same time, "Are you _insane_?"

Chibs was trying to stop her, pulling her back "Fiona stop this madness ya daft woman. I ain' sleeping with anyone." "How's it feel to know you are taking a man away from his wife and daughter, eh?," Fiona wouldn't stop she kept coming for me. Something in me snapped. I rounded on her, "Well his WIFE should have joined her man instead of staying with the low life that took her from him. A _REAL WIFE_ would do anything to get back to her husband." "What did ya just say to me?," Fiona was startled. "A real _WOMAN_ wouldn't stand to be a plaything of some low life while her husband is suffering without her... alone. So don't come over here and accuse anyone of anything before you know facts. The way I see it you are no wife. You won't even get his _CROW_. What kind of a woman..." **SLAP.** Right across my face. Enough to jerk me back and my head go to the right side. I reach up. Blood from my lips. I smile wickedly as I wipe the blood from my lips with the back of my hand. "Y_ou better be fucking glad I care about Chibs or you would be dead right now **bitch**_," I said those words with every bit of hate I could muster. I had a look of pure evil malice in my eyes. My mother stood there grinning from ear to ear with the whole 'that's my daughter' pride in her eyes. Chibs looked shocked as fuck. Fiona had backed up and looked scared. Yea... "_I think you should leave_," I said darkly. Fiona didn't hesitate. She was in her car and backing up. Chibs tried to stop her, to talk to her but she wouldn't stop. She burnt rubber to leave TM and I smiled as I knew I had won.

Chibs turned and looked at me. His head dropped as he headed inside the clubhouse. Gemma stood there with her arms crossed, "What fucking nerve. How _DARE_ she accuse my daughter of sleeping with Chibs. My baby wouldn't lower herself to that level." Gemma turned and looked at me. I was still fired up. My hands clinched into fists. I could swear fire was shooting out of my ears. "Baby," Gemma began, " Are you alright?" I nodded. Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks and I started to hyperventilate. Gemma was at my side in an instant, "Breathe baby, Breathe." She rubbed my back but I had doubled over. "TIG!," Gemma shouted. Tig, Bobby, and Chibs came running out of the clubhouse. "She ok?," Bobby asked. Tig was at my side comforting me, "It's alright sweetness, just take your time, breathe... I'm here." Chibs stood by in horror. Gemma was beside herself with worry but I started to come down ... thanks to Tig. I turned into his chest, "Tig... please..." "I got you," Tig said as he eased me along with him into the clubhouse sitting me on the couch and rushing to get me a glass of ice water, "Drink this baby." I downed it. "What happened?," Bobby asked. "I don't know," Gemma shook her head, "I have no idea, one moment she was standing there with her fists balled up ... next she was struggling to breath." "Just hit her hard, Gemma," Tig explained, "She'll be ok now. Right baby doll?" I look up, my eyes meeting Gemma's, "I am fine Mom. I just... over did it." "See?," Tig boasted, "She's fine. Tough little cookie." I smiled at Tig.

Chibs sighed, "Lass... you need anything?" "Not from you," I bit back. I stood and almost fell. Tig caught me, "Woah there kitten. Take it slow, take it easy." I nodded, "I just need to lay down for a few. Tig, can you help me into the back?" "Sure thing sweet stuff," Tig took my arm and lead me to the back into my room in the clubhouse. Yea, I have my own room back here in case I just didn't want to be at home. "Thanks Tig," I thanked him and he left. I fell back onto the bed looking up at the ceiling. What had I just done? I had went from scared silly to ass kicker in 0 to 10 there. It scared me how easy I was affected by her words. What scared me more was how much she believed them. And he had asked for a divorce? Guilt swept through my body. I hate myself and I just want out of here. The room seems to close in on me. I almost go into a panic. At that moment I decide something that changes the rest of my life.

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><p>Gemma and Jax stood there with tears in their eyes. "Baby girl, You don't have to do this," Gemma sobbed. "Yes mom I do," I explained. Jax smiled even though there were tears in his eyes, "Sis, You gotta do what you gotta do. Just know, we're here. We always will be." I nodded hugging my brother tight, "I know. I will be back Jax... I just need time." He nodded, "Go do your thing sis." I smile. Gemma hugs me so tight I can't breathe, "MOM... CAN'T... BREATHE..." "Sorry baby," she sobs, "My little girl... You are the best part of my life darling." My eyes fill up, "Love you Mom." "Love you too baby," she backs up to stand next to Jax. I take one final look at TM. I will miss this place. This is for the best. For all of us. Suddenly out from the clubhouse come Bobby, Piney (one of the original 9 that created SAMCRO with my father), Tig, Clay, and finally Chibs. "You weren't gonna leave without hugging me are ya?," Bobby exclaimed as he pulled me into a big bear hug. Piney stepped up to me, "Kid, ya know I love ya." "I love you too Piney," I hug him. "If you need me, call, I'll do all I can kiddo," Piney whispers. "Thanks old man," I give him a kiss on the cheek.<p>

Clay steps forward, "Alright young lady, you gone?" "Bet your happy," I say under my breath. "What was that?," he asked. "Nothing, just goodbye," he nods and walks to stand beside Gemma. Thank god he didn't want a hug. Ew. Tig steps to me and it's all I can do to hold my tears back, "Tiggy". His arms pull me against him hard, "Won't feel this beautiful tits again until you come home," he whispers. I laughed, "I'll miss you Tiggy." "I'll miss you too kitten," he sniffed as we dropped his head and walked to join the others. Chibs looked at me, "Lass..." I dropped my head, "Goodbye Chibs," I whispered. "Lass..." I ignored him and got into the taxi. I sighed as I took one last look at my family... at TM... and then they disappeared as the taxi rounded the corner.

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><p><strong>Reviews WELCOMED<strong>


	5. The Phone Call

**NOTE: I am in the process of REWRITING the story. I loved it but I wanted to explain pre-season 1 when Martha meets Chibs and what happened to them before Martha and Juice. So please excuse the fact that I am taking down the first chapters and replacing them with new material. I promise we will be back to the MARTHA/JUICE GOODNESS soon...**

**With that said. This first part of the story begins when Martha first meets Filip "Chibs" Telford upon his arrival in Charming.**

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><p>It had been 2 weeks since I left TM. Left my life behind. I had settled in San Francisco and am taking classes in music theory with some computer science on the side. I had just got in from my afternoon classes when my cellphone was ringing repeatedly. I sighed. Gemma probably. I look down. It was an unknown number. Probably some telecommunications shit.<p>

"Hello," I sigh. "Lass... don't hang up," God damn. Chibs. "What do you want?," I try not to sound bitter or hateful but it comes out a little angry. "Lass, I don't want us to end like this," Chibs began, "Please, hear me out." "I'm listening Chibs, make it quick," I pretend I have something to do when I don't. "I never meant for Fiona to come to TM and take it out on you," he explained. "Well she did," I bite back, "How did she know about me Filip?" "I don' know lass," he sighed heavily, "All I know is I called her a couple of weeks before after our last...," he sighed again I could feel the weight of his despair, "When I called her, I asked for a divorce. I could see no point in continuing with her when she is in Jimmy O's hands. I explained to her I would provide for her and Kerrianne but I just wanted my freedom." "And she didn't like that I can see," I mocked. "No, she didn' lass," his voice sounded remorseful, "I didn' think she'd come over with Jimmy O and seek out answers. Not like that. Please believe me love."

"_Don't call me that Filip Telford, You've lost the right to call me that,_" I yelled into the phone. "Lass," Chibs sounded wounded. Good. I am wounded. I am so fucking wounded. "I still love ya lass," he confessed, "I will always love ya." Tears filled my eyes, "That's your misfortune Chibs, not mine." Silence. "Lass, Don' do this to us." "There is no _US_ Chibs. There never was. There was no chance for us. It was already decided for us. Nothing can change it. Nothing can make it change. _NOTHING_," I was crying now. Yea, my heart was broken. "Just," I sighed as I wiped tears from my eyes, "Forget me Chibs. I am no longer your problem." "You were never a problem lass," Chibs states clearly. "Just... Let it go, OK? Move on. What happened is done and let's just try to move past it, alright?," I calmly explain hoping Chibs understands. I can hear him sigh again. This is hard. I know. Hard for both of us. "Alright lass," Chibs agrees, "If this is what ya want..." "It is," I cut him off. After a few moments of silence I hear his voice softly say, "Take care of yourself love." And the line goes dead. I push the off button and it feels as if I push the off button to my heart as well.

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><p><strong>WE ARE NOW MOVING ONTO THE JUICEMARTHA PART OF THE STORY.** Sorry this chapter is so short but it is the end of the tale for a while until Martha shows up at TM a few years later. Thanks for the patience and for allowing me to indulge in the re-writing of this so I could include the pre-Juice events that way you could understand the Chibs/Martha connection a lot better. Hope you enjoyed these chapters.

**Reviews WELCOMED.**


	6. The Return

**Now begins the Martha/Juice part of the story... This story begins a little before season 1 and takes place throughout the existence of the show... it might not show EVERYTHING the show did ... but it will hit points I am wanting to make with my story.**

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><p>Charming... I can't believe I am back home. Sitting in the back of a cab who is driving unusually slow because he wants to cash in on this fare, I sighed as I thought of what I had given up both when I left for college and now coming home. I left the San Francisco Conservatory of Music because I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to return. I couldn't stay away, It's in my blood. I had fought it. Tried to leave Charming to claim my OWN life... but this is my life. I know that now.<p>

I swallowed hard when the cab rounded the block and Teller Morrow came into view. I wonder if they've all changed much. If they missed me. If they even noticed I was gone. It's not easy to be the Princess of SAMCRO you go unnoticed a lot of the time. Completely off the radar. I guess it's because most are scared to associate with me due to who my family is... and the club itself. I sigh again. I told no one I was coming home. Not Mom. Not Jax. No one. I wanted it to be a surprise.

As we pulled in the first person I saw was Piney Winston, one of the original nine that formed the Sons with my father. He stood near the parked motorcycles eyeing the cab. When I stepped out, his jaw almost hit the pavement. "MY GOD," I heard him exclaim, "BABY GIRL!" He began to walk towards me as I paid the cabbie. When I turned I was enveloped in the biggest bear hug a man could give a girl without crushing her to death. "PINEY!," I threw my arms around the old man who had been a huge part of my growing up, "Missed you old man." He laughed and pulled back taking a good look at me, "Beautiful as ever little princess." I rolled my eyes at the older man, "Please don't call me that Piney." About that time, the doors to the clubhouse flew open and several members came out into the open.

"Bless my soul," a thick Scottish accent gasped as Chibs Telford stood with his eyes wide and mouth gaping at me. He was soon joined by Tig Trager, Happy Lowman, Bobby Munson, Juice Ortiz, and a prospect. "Fuck me," Tig exclaimed. "Not with a 10 foot pole and someone else pushing Trager," I smirked. He rushed up, grabbed me and hugged me. "Nice tits princess," Tig remarked. "Pervert," I replied. Happy hugged me remarking how he missed me while Tig was still joking about how my tits were just "there" and that there was no shame in enjoying a good feel during a hug. Bobby was next to hug me then Juice whom I had met on my visit home this last Christmas. Poor guy was stuck with me but he always had a smile on his face. We became great friends. I like Juice. He looks at me with a huge grin on his face as he grabs me for a hug, "Glad you're home." I smiled up at my greatest friend, "Me too Juice." He looked down quickly, always shy, Juice never changes. Fucking adorable. Before I could turn around, Chibs picked me up and swung me around. Damn it. Why does he always have to be so damn physical. I was hoping to avoid this. I smile though keeping face. I left this place because of him. I don't return the same girl he once knew. That girl died the moment I got to San Francisco. Chibs smiles down at me reminding me why I had fallen for him those few years ago. "It's good to see you lass," Chibs whispered. "It's good to be seen," I reply.

"God Damn," a dark voice boomed. Chibs set me down and I looked over to see my stepfather, Clay Morrow standing there, cigar in hand and an unreadable expression on his stern face. Fuck. I knew I should have stayed in San Francisco. I knew he was going to be difficult the moment I decided on returning yet here I stood in front of the man that all but practically drove me out of Charming in the first place. "Young lady, just what are YOU doing HERE?," he questioned. "Do I need a reason to come home?", I remarked defiant as ever. His arms crossed and before he could utter another word a streak of brown and blonde dove past him and the others and practically knocked me down with a hug, "MY BABY." Yep, that's my Mom. Gemma was always over-dramatic about everything. "Hi Mom," I hugged her back. She was crying into me as she hugged tighter than any of the guys could have ever wanted to hug me and stroked my hair, "Mom, can't..." "Sorry," she replied, "Just so happy to see you." I smiled big at her and looking past her my eyes met my big brother's who had just stepped out with look of utter shock on his face.

"You got to be fucking kidding me," he laughed as he walked over picking me up like Chibs did and hugging me tight, "Damn it's good to see you kid." I hugged my brother. Jax was always my rock. The only thing constant and unyielding in my life. I could count on him to always have a smile, a word of advice, a snappy comeback, a shoulder to cry on, and a strong arm if I needed him to. "Alright Jackson," I only called him that when we were having fun with one another. He winced at the use of that and put me down. He smiled big at me though when Mom joined us and then Clay. "My family is back together and tonight... we celebrate," Gemma exclaimed. The boys seemed happy about that. Of course they would be... beer/booze, crow eaters, and good times ... in other words exactly what SAMCRO members lived for.

Gemma threw an arm around me, "You staying at the house with us?" "Of course," I replied swinging my arm around her shoulders as well. We had been doing that since I was a teenager... and my Mom was always my best friend. Clay growled and muttered something under his breath but we paid him no mind as we all walked into the clubhouse for drinks. The prospect made himself busy and everyone else started talking loudly about how I was back, how glad they were I was home, how good I looked... and Tig of course making the perverted reference again to my "rockin'" tits. I sighed as I looked around. Home. It never changes. I was glad for that. I took my beer from the prospect and walked over to the wall gazing up at my father's mugshot. Jax threw an arm around me from behind surprising me, "He'd be proud of you kid." "Yea?," I took a swig of my beer. "Yep," Jax continued, "You went out there, got your edu-ma-cation," a laugh from both of us, "And look at you... a teacher of music." "Yea but what good is that gonna get me in Charming?," I knew coming back here limited my options for work but I was determined to make it work somehow. "Well," he lazily drawled out, "We'll figure that out. What's important is my baby sis is home." He smiled down at me and I smiled up at him. He squeezed my frame against him and I felt for once like everything was going to go my way. Things were going to be normal.

I had forgotten... this is Charming. We are the Sons of Anarchy. Nothing here ever was NORMAL.

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><p><strong>Reviews WELCOMED<strong>


	7. The Flirting Game

I had settled back in nicely. Isn't hard to fall back into a routine that was a part of your life for 20 or more years. Gemma put me to work in the office for the time being until I can find a job. Although, Gemma reminded me I didn't HAVE TO have a job that SAMCRO always could use me in this office. I reminded her I needed MONEY and she smirked with the reply that money was NO problem. What the fuck does THAT mean? Do I even WANT to know? Well if Mom insists TM can pay, my little Princess ass is gonna be in this office.

I throw my hand up and wave as Jax leaves to go to the hospital. He waves back and smiles before taking off. Jax and I tried to get together a few times a week to have lunch and catch up. Then the peacefulness faded. Wendy, Jax's ex got wasted and almost lost my nephew. Doctors were able to save the baby but he needed several surgeries. Jax was in pieces. For a few days he didn't act right. Wouldn't even look at the boy. Finally I helped talk him into seeing his son... Abel. I envy Jax in a small way. He now has this perfect creation in his life. When Abel finally comes home, Jax will have a son to raise, someone who he can teach and love. Something I probably will never have. No one wants the Princess of SAMCRO. Too scared.

When the club heard Abel was going to be alright, of course, another party is set for tonight.

The club house filled quickly after the news of Abel's successful surgeries. I smile when people arrive and greet as expected of me. Loud music started to boom. Booze started to flow. Crow Eaters tried their hands at gaining the members of SAMCRO's attention. Some did so successfully. Others just got pushed to the side. Crow Eaters make me sick. Always flaunting their shit trying to land a man who really only wants a piece of ass then tosses them to the curb. I ignore most of them.

Looking around I instantly see Piney sitting at the bar talking loudly about something with the prospect who was all to happy to show me why they call him Half Sack upon my arrival back. I cringe at the reminder of what I saw earlier. What was seen can not be unseen and sadly not forgotten so easily either. Sweet kid though. I hope he gets patched in. His loyalty is what SAMCRO needs.

Happy and some of the other members were deep into a game of pool... looked like Happy was winning. Tig was in the corner, his face in between a pair of Crow Eater breasts. Nothing new there. Bobby was making his way to sit at the bar with Piney. Juice had sat at a table with his computer working diligently at something. "Never changes does it lass," Chibs' voice broke me out of my thoughts as he swung his arm around my shoulder and handed me a beer. "Not really," I replied smiling a small knowing smile, "I didn't expect it to." I took a quick swig of beer and again my eyes glanced around. "Having you back has lifted a lot of the guys' spirits," he admitted, "Including mine." I raised my eyebrows, "We don't need to go down THAT road again Filip." I couldn't be more serious about anything. I don't mind Chibs flirting but the last time, we almost crossed a line that doesn't need crossing. He sighed, "Lass... you don't need to go reminding me of what I can't have. I know." He frowned deeply and for a moment I wanted to join him in his melancholy reverie, but I can't. I don't have the luxury of digging up past skeletons buried in my closet. Not now. "How's Fiona and Kerrianne?" Yea that'll drop this line of discussion. Score Martha. "Fine. Kerrianne is doing quite well in her studies I heard... Fiona..." I looked at Chibs. He missed them. As much as he flirted with me and with the idea of what could have been between he and I, Chibs loved Fiona and Kerrianne. I doubt anything would have ever come of us.

As if knowing what I was thinking, Chibs leaned down and whispered, "I still love ya lass." "And that's a thought best kept to yourself Chibs," I remind him. He goes to say something else but before he could say any thing, Bobby called him over and he gladly obliged. I frowned. I never understood why Fiona didn't try to break from Jimmy O and come to the states. The club would have protected her. What's more, she refused the CROW (a tattoo that old ladies of SAMCRO members receive... kind of a badge of HONOR at being some one's lady). That pissed me off. How can you call yourself an old lady but not have a CROW? Some of us LONG for that mark, Fiona dismisses it like it's a curse. She knows nothing. Just another reason I dislike the bitch. I smirk to myself remembering our encounter a few years back. Proved myself a bad ass. Mom still reminds me to this day how the Princess of SAMCRO made the IRISH TART run for the hills.

I had to snap out of this train of thought. I look around for someone to change my mood. I smiled when my eyes met Juice's. I made my way to his table and pulled my chair close to him, "Working hard?" He sighed, "Yea, Clay wants me to locate some guy ... club business. Why aren't you having more fun instead of joining me?" I looked at Juice, "Have you seen this pathetic excuse for a party?" Juice surveyed the club house as I continued, "Bobby, Piney, and Chibs in some heated discussion. Tig's face buried in a Crow Eater. Happy hustling other members for money. The prospect... don't get me started cause I don't want to have to see what he likes to show off again." Juice laughed, "Yea it is pretty pathetic for a party isn't it?" "Jax isn't here cause he's at the hospital with Gemma. Clay's locked up in the chapel doing his thing... THANKFULLY. And here you sit... so out of all the choices, you seemed to be the best one." He smiled, "Glad I even register on your radar, Mar." Finally, Juice is calling me by my nickname. Took him only what... FOREVER to get past calling me Ms. Teller then just Martha... now he's finally made it to Mar. Hall-e-fucking-lu-ya. Progress.

I threw my arm around the back of his chair and leaned in to look at the screen of his laptop, "You really are a pro Juicy." He blushed. How sweet. Wonder how much I could make him blush before he retreats into the back? Hmmmm. I leaned a little more forward showing my cleavage. I loved this top. Spaghetti strapped tank that v's down showing off what thankfully my Mama gave me... as Tig puts it "ROCKIN' TITS". I catch Juice looking and he swallows hard trying to play off that he's taken a peek. "Well I try my best," he replies a little shaky. This is gonna be fun. I smirk a little but instantly hide it. Again I lean closer, "All seems a bit technical for me. I know computers but not as well as you Juicy." I put my hand on his leg and he jumps a little. Yep, he'll make a retreat in 3, 2, ... Juice leans over, "If you ever want me to show you more, I'm always available to help you out."

Wait. WHAT?! Is he kinda flirting back? Let's test these waters. "Well I could always use a good teacher. I'd need a lot of help though Juicy. Think you can handle that?" Juice looked like a deer in headlights. Poor guy. I shouldn't tease so but Juice is a cutie and I can't help myself. I ought to be ashamed. "I can handle more than you'd imagine," Juice stated. I was floored. Guys got balls. To hear Jax, Chibs, and Tig talk Juice isn't that bold around them. I smile. Leaning over to brush my breast against his arm. He swallows hard. He's so fucking adorable. When I came down for Christmas, Juice was my 'escort' due to strained relations with the Mayans as always. Juice and I would sit up playing video games all hours of the night sometimes falling asleep side by side on the couch. I'd wake up to his arms wrapped around my waist, his head buried in my hair. I'd smile as he woke up with that bright grin that melts my heart. Juice and I went every where together for a couple of months before I left to finish some more classes.

I see Juice's eyes looking at my shirt again. Naughty boy. I just want to feel those lips on... Hey... Wait. Don't go there Martha. That train of thought leads to bad things. Remember what happened with Chibs? This is just a little bit of fun I tell myself. I ghost my hand up higher on Juice's thigh, "I'd love to know what all you CAN handle Juice." He has turned red in the face. I wanted to be a little bolder but I could see Clay come out of Chapel in his ill tempered usual mood. He grabbed a beer and was glancing around. I made sure to take my hand off Juice's leg and sit back so as to not get Juice in trouble. Clay would murder him and it would be all my fault. The price of being the Princess. One that's too high in my opinion.

Clay said some things to Bobby, Chibs, and Piney then again went back into Chapel and shut the doors. Good. Stay there you fucking asshole. I look to Juice who was again busy on his laptop. "I should let you do your job Juicy, don't want to get you into trouble," I went to stand but his hand grabbed my arm gently and he said only one word, "Stay." The way he whispered it made me instantly take my seat next to him again. "I enjoy your company, Mar." I smiled, "I enjoy yours Juicy, always have." He smiled as he continued working, "I might not be pleasant company though, with what all I have to do." "I don't mind," I confessed, "I'll just sit here and watch you if you don't mind." "Not at all," he replied, "You being here makes it a little easier to focus." "Why's that?" "I don't know," Juice contemplated then he said something that changed everything, "You make me feel more at ease. Calm my mind when everything seems scattered. You make me feel like I can be me."

WOW. Score one Juicy. I put my arm around him and leaned in to place my head on his shoulder. He tightened up at the contact but then relaxed. "Juice, That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." He stopped and looked at me, "Really? Then the others should be ashamed cause that was pretty lame as far as compliments go." I laughed, "No Juice, it was sweet. Thank you." I placed a kiss on his cheek and he blushed bright red before turning and continuing his work. I put my head on his shoulder again and just watched him work. He really was good. I found myself watching those hands at the keyboard. I suddenly found myself wondering if those hands could work that fast unbuttoning my jeans. Woah there Mar. This train of thought could get you and Juicyboy in trouble. Better not think that kind of thought. But then my thoughts betrayed me again as I looked down at his arms. Juice worked out that was obvious but DAMN. I started imagining those strong arms wrapped around me. I shook off the thought again trying to not think that way about one of my greatest friends.

I might TRY not to think one thing but then the other pops into this warped brain of mine. I found myself looking at Juice's mouth thinking of how I'd love to feel those lips on my neck, breasts... "You ok Mar?," Juice asked and I was suddenly very aware of my own stupidity. Damn me. I need to get laid. "Fine Juicy, why?" "Well you just seemed to zone out there," he replied, "Was asking you if you want to go for a ride later? Get out of the club and get some fresh air." A ride. A ride would be good. Wind in my hair. On the back of a bike. On the back of Juice's bike pressed against him, my arms wrapped around his toned body... oh dear god I am pathetic. "I'd love that Juice, haven't gone for a ride since I've been back." "Can't believe the guys haven't taken you out," Juice sighed. You can take me out Juice. You can take me any way you... "Yea, every body's been so busy, too busy for the Princess." Juice frowned and his eyes met mine, "Well I am NEVER too busy for you Mar. You can always come ask me. I'll do what ever you need."

Oh dear god Juice don't say that. Please don't say that. My mind went to the gutter and I kept beating myself up mentally for wanting this gorgeous man on top of me, underneath me, behind me... Damn, Damn, Damn... "Good then it's settled," he smiled as he kept typing, "I'll finish up and we'll ride." "Juice, you're too good to me." He smiled big, "Well someone has to be good to the Princess." "You going to be my knight in shining armor Juicy?" He looked at me, "If you need one." YEP. He was flirting. He didn't retreat like I originally thought he would. This is dangerous... and I have to tread lightly. I will not put Juice's spot at the table in jeopardy for being flirty with me. "Juice," I looked at him, "You know that Clay will skin you alive..." "For what?," he smirked, "Being kind to his stepdaughter?" He had a point. "We just have to be careful of how we carry on, Juicy. I won't have you hurt because of me," I looked down sadly. Juice put his finger under my chin and lifted my gaze to meet his, "Mar, don't worry. We are not doing anything wrong. Two friends hanging out. Nothing wrong with that. Something you and I have done for a long time. If Clay has a problem with that, then I will gladly take whatever kind of fate awaits." My heart melted. Yep. Juice just got the Princess to seriously crush on him. And I wasn't the least bit ashamed of it.

"I just," I began not knowing what to say after he so boldly took a stand. We were close in age so we had more in common. I remember Christmas when he would make a habit of always bringing me my favorite drink (a grape slushie) every Friday afternoon and every Monday morning he'd bring me a Mocha. He spoiled me. No one else ever had gone to such lengths. Always there to listen. Always kind to me. Why I hadn't crushed on Juice before now was a mystery to me. But now... I am seeing Juice. Juan Carlos Ortiz... I see you. His eyes met mine, "What's the harm, Mar?" I smiled back, "None Juicy. You are right. It's not like you're asking me to marry you and run away." He laughed and I laughed, "Yea let's elope and run off to Florida." "We'll get a house, you can work on cars...", I laughed harder. "You can teach," he replied. "We'll get a dog...", I added. "And have several children...", he teased. Juice and I were laughing so hard that Bobby, Piney, and Chibs looked up from the bar. "YA WEIRDOS," Piney shouted at us.

Still giggling, Juice put his head against mine, "The perfect life, Mar." I had stopped laughing and in my mind I was running over what just was said. He could work on cars, I'd teach, a house... a dog... did he say children? "Done," Juice boasted. I looked to him, "Wow, that's some kinda magic you do Juicy." He grinned mischievously, "I can do all kinds of different magic." Damn. I'm in trouble. "Ready?," he asked. I nodded and took his hand as we made our way outside to his motorcycle. He handed me a helmet and I strapped it on. I threw my leg over and took my place behind him. This was natural for me. Nothing felt better than being on the back of a Harley... wind in your hair, freedom. This was what life was all about. And now... I had my arms wrapped around Juice. I leaned in. He smelled good. "Where do you wanna go?," he asked looking at me over his shoulder. "I don't care Juicy, take me wherever you want." Just take me. Damn. There I go again.

As we left Teller Morrow only one thought kept playing in my head, I am so in trouble.

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><p><strong>REVIEWS WELCOMED<strong>


	8. Winning Juan Carlos Ortiz

The weather had gotten warm in Charming and with that came Gemma's bright idea... a fucking pool party. What my mother wouldn't come up with. Any excuse for a party and Gemma was all over it. I think she loved the idea of having the "family" together. Everyone always came... Piney, Bobby, Tig, Chibs, Juice... no one ever missed a Gemma Teller party. I sighed heavily trying to decide which damn swimsuit I would wear. I wanted to wear the metallic silver one but I didn't want too much attention. Would be getting enough of that with Tig being the pervert he always is. I did want to see Juice's reaction though.

Our ride a month ago had been fun. Nothing out of the ordinary. Since that night we were back to the usual routine of being buddies. I calmed my flirting with Juice just to see how he would react and he just went back to the normal banter between us, no flirting from him. I was disappointed. I had thought Juice was interested in me. Looking in the mirror at this shiny flimsy material covering me, I sighed again. Maybe I was reading it all wrong. I took off the over the top bikini and put on the black one with the skulls on the top. Done. This will do.

Everyone was already gathering. Jax was leaned back in a chair under the shade of the back porch as was Clay, Bobby, and Piney, all in deep discussion. Tig, Chibs, and Juice were helping Gemma set up the table with various foods. I walked over, "Need help, Ma?" Gemma smirked as she made her way back to the house, "Nope we got it baby girl, go enjoy the day." Tig was the first to comment as usual, "God damn that's smokin' hot." I rolled my eyes. Chibs stopped cold, "Jesus Christ lass, give a man reason to fucking drool all day." I just turned almost bumping into Juice who was holding a bowl of something Gemma asked him to bring to the table. His eyes wandered over me and I was waiting for something, "Excuse me," he said and walked to sit the bowl down. His eyes never made it back over to me. Tig just kept going, "Fucking hot as hell make a man wanna..." Chibs laughed, "Do things he shouldn't mention out loud for fear of others hearing." I turned again. Juice wasn't looking at me and I wasn't about to beg for his god damn attention.

I made my way to the pool and dove in. I needed this. Relaxation. As I surfaced I heard Jax yell, "I'd give that a 7 out of 10". I simply shot him my middle finger and smiled. The kids were splashing around which I found fucking annoying as hell. Hard to relax when a bunch of kids are making a hell of a lot of noise. I found the ladder and exited settling in on the beach chair and putting on my shades. I could watch everyone without any one noticing. I watched Tig and Chibs in discussion about something still at the food table. Gemma in a conversation with Luann. Piney, Bobby, Clay, and Jax talking something low key. But where was Juice? He had disappeared. Damn. Probably bailed. Don't blame him. This is fucking lame. Bobby was breaking out his guitar to play for everyone. I sighed as I got up and walked into the house.

I walked into my bedroom and flopped down onto the bed. I had it all wrong about Juice. He was just being kind to me. He had not really been interested. Who could blame him? I am the Princess. It's some scary shit there. Flirting with the woman whose stepfather runs SAMCRO. Whose brother is the next President. Whose mother is Gemma. Yea. I don't blame him at all. It would be a hard road attaching himself to me. He's better off. Still, I was sad and disappointed. If I could have a choice of any SAMCRO man, it would be Juice.

Then it hit me, I had to pee. Dammit. I don't want to get up. Lazily I lift myself from the bed. I make my way to the bathroom. The door is half closed and I hear something that sounds like sex almost. I sigh. Not now. I really got to go. I peek in. What I see makes my jaw drop. There is Juice, his pants down and his hand wrapped around his cock. Oh... my... god. I turn to leave but then I turn back. My eyes wander over him. He's gorgeous. His eyes closed, head tilted back, shirt up showing off those killer abs, hand stroking up and down his thick, long cock with his mouth open a little. He's going faster and faster. He must be near the edge.

I lick my lips. Juice is fucking perfection. I would so love to have a piece of that. He lets out a huge sigh and moans. I want to moan right with him. Watching him is a huge turn on. Lord he's huge. I keep watching him stroke and he's at the end, throwing his head back more as he climaxes he moans and whispers, "Mar." Wait. WHAT?! "Oh Mar," Juice whispered again. Did he just? OH... Fuck. I accidentally bump the wall and his eyes snap open. Shit. I silently make my way back to my room and bury my head into my pillow. FUCK FUCK FUCK. He was jerking off thinking about me. Oh Christ. This was... wait... he was thinking of me? I turned over and smiled big. Juice jerked off to me? My smile grew bigger. I stood. I made my way back down the hall as he was coming out.

"Hey Juice," I smiled big. "Uh, hey Mar," he looked a bit embarrassed. "What's up?," I ask not letting on to knowing exactly what it was Juice had been up to moments earlier. "Um, nothing much," he replied shakily. "Hey wanna join me for a movie?", I ask. He smiled, "Sure." "Go ahead to my room and I'll be there soon," I closed the bathroom door behind me. Quick pee. Record time. I am back to my room seeing Juice already stretched out on the bed, "What movie you wanna watch?" I smirk at him leaving the door open so as to not raise suspicion, not now, "Your pic Juicy." He smiled and stood looking at my collection, "Well how about Creepshow or maybe... Batman Returns?" I laugh a little. "What?," Juice turns looking at me. I reach over and flip on the radio, "Come here Juice." He puts the movies down and sits beside me. I pull him down and throw my arms around him. He blushes. "Could you do me a huge favor Juice?," I ask looking him in the eyes. He seems a little panicked, "Sure." "Could you just... snuggle with me for a few?" He smiled and nodded settling in beside me pulling me against his chest as I rested my head on it.

"You alright Mar?," he asked. "Perfect Juice," I smiled a knowing smile, "Perfect." In my head, I was thinking of him and the show I saw earlier. I had to work this out... I was done with this alone shit. Fuck the curse. Fuck being the Princess. I knew what I wanted. I knew I had a long road ahead but in the end it would be worth it. I smiled against Juice's chest as I place my hand feeling his heartbeat. This is what I want...

I had to win Juan Carlos Ortiz.

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><p>It had been a few days since I seen Juice in the bathroom jerking off. My mind wandered to that scene quite a lot, especially seeing him with no shirt on in the garage at TM. Damn. I bit my lip. That boy is sex on a stick. And it was MY name he moaned. MY NAME. Not some crow eater. Not some sweet but. MY FUCKING NAME. I smiled at that knowledge knowing I had gotten into Juice's head. Now to get into his heart.<p>

In a few hours everything had changed, It was like a nightmare. The phone call came to the club later that night during a get together. Everyone was gone in a heartbeat. None of us knew what was happening till hours later when Chibs and Juice came through the door with this look on their faces. "Chibs," I met him halfway, "What the fuck happened?" "It's Donna," Chibs replied. Donna was Opie's wife. She had been his girl for so long, way before he was a member of the Sons. They had 2 children together. When Opie went to prison something changed in Donna, she wanted NOTHING to do with the Sons even though as a family, they obviously offered her assistance, when Opie got out Donna pushed him to stay away from the Sons. Chibs shook his head, "When we got there, she was already gone. Nothing we could do lass, it was a hit plain and simple." My hands flew up to cover my mouth. Chibs had made his way to the bar for a drink. Juice looked at me. His eyes not the same as usual, the sadness I saw behind them was heartbreaking. He just turned and joined Chibs at the bar.

I felt numb. Donna and I were not friends but I knew her. This... was too much. Poor Opie. Poor kids. I just turn on my heels and make my way up to the affectionately called Crow's nest which is on top of the building looking out over Teller Morrow. My thoughts were so all over the place. Between coming home, the ATF bitch Stahl cracking down on the club, Abel coming home, Jax's strange disappearances, and my feelings for Juice... I just wanted to cry but somehow the tears just weren't coming. I heard the door to the nest open and I turned. Juice. Great. I need THIS like I need another hole in the head. "You alright?," he asks. Juice means well but if he knew the thoughts I had when I was in his presence... or even the thoughts I had when he was not there, he would think me some kind of sex-crazed love-sick fool.

"I'm fine Juicy, thanks," I turn away from him not wanting him to see me in a moment of weakness, and at this moment, I was very weak. I felt his hand cup my shoulders and turn me around. I looked up into his eyes. God he's got beautiful eyes. He pulled me into a hug and I melted against him. No harm in a hug. No harm in finding comfort in the arms of a friend who cares about you. Forget the lustful thoughts for the moment, Martha, concentrate on how awesome his arms feel around me and how I wish I could wake up in those... Oh God damn. Here I go again. A friend... a club member's wife is dead and I'm thinking about sexing Juice up AGAIN! My hormones need a god damn vacation along with my libido. I feel Juice's hands stroking my back and I can't form a coherent thought anymore. I am putty in his hands. I have to back away. Back away Martha. FEET MOVE NOW THIS ISN'T THE TIME OR PLACE... MOVE GOD DAMN IT!

I pull back, "I know Jax'll want to do something about all of this something for Opie. We'll just have to wait and see what he comes up with." "Yea," Juice replied looking a little put off from me pulling back, "Clay will probably want to seek the people who did this out. Retribution." I nodded. Awkward silence fell. Juice stepped toward me taking my hand, "Jax said we shouldn't be alone tonight. To stay close to the club house and all..." Yea sounds like my brother. "So, if you need to go somewhere, let me know, I'll get you there." "Thanks Juicy. I probably will just crash here for the night," I so shouldn't have said that. His thumb was stroking the top of my hand and I wasn't pulling away. I should pull away. His hand held mine up to his lips and he kissed my hand. All thoughts went out. Blank. My mind is blank. Don't let those thoughts back into your head because temptation is a bitch... and... Juice's eyes found mine, "I'd really like your company tonight. We could play cards or talk, whatever you want to do." Damn you Juice. "I..." say something Martha.

About that time the door to the nest opens and it's Chibs. Damn. The man I crushed on once upon a time and the fine ass biker boy who lights my ass on fire ... I'm doomed. I sigh, "Chibs?" "Just wondering where you were lass, lost ya for a second," Chibs eyes Juice suspiciously. "Yea I came up here to think, Juice came to find me and now we were standing up here talking." "Just don't think you should be alone lass." "I ain't," I smiled. Chibs walked over looking out over Teller Morrow, "Hey Juice that Crow Eater Nancy was looking for ya." What? Juice looked down, "What'd she want?" "Probably to wanted to make you feel real good lad, why don't you go find out?", Chibs laughed. I tried not to look jealous. I looked down. Juice seemed at a loss. "Wouldn't turn down a freebie if I were ya," Chibs replied. I felt sick suddenly. Please Juice don't..."Yea, later," he said turning and leaving me alone on the roof with Chibs. Fuck. Juice. I wanted to cry. The thought of him with a crow eater. I suddenly lost my shit. I gagged and threw up over the side of the building. Chibs was there patting me on the back, "Easy love, I'm here."

I am sure Chibs thinks this is because of Donna... but no. It's not. It's over Juice. I wiped my mouth on the sleeve of my hoodie and sighed. "You alright lass?," Chibs said being extremely concerned. "Yea, just a little too much excitement for one evening," I explained. He nodded. Leaning back into his arms I sighed, "Hell of a night." "Yea Lass it is," he too sighed. I didn't want to think about Juice downstairs fucking a crow eater. I pulled back from Chibs. "Ya alright lass?," he questioned. "Just... tired." He nodded. "Poor Opie. Sometimes it makes me glad I am not attached like that," I commented. "Casualties happen Lass, it's who we are. Doesn't matter if you are a member, family, friend... foe. This life does it... we all know what it means to be a Son or love one." I nodded, "Remind me to never fall in love Chibs." "Not again huh?," he teased. Yea bring up OUR past Chibs. "I really need a drink," I said, "Or ten." "Alcoholic," he teased again releasing me from his grasp. I turned and poke his chest, "Pot calling the kettle black are we?" He smirked, "Maybe I should do what Juice is probably doing and find me a Crow Eater to bury myself in for the night." I turned crossing my arms, "Go for it." Chibs smirked, "Or you could just join me lass." Not interested. "I rather have that beer," I smirked walking past him. I had learned my lesson years ago. Chibs was hot on my heels as I made it to the bar, "PROSPECT BEER," I barked.

My eyes scanned the club. Yep I was looking for Juice. Damn jealousy. But Nancy was in Tig's lap and Juice was sitting at a table with a beer in his hand. Alone. I smiled but grew curious. I looked around to see Chibs had joined Bobby and Happy in a game of cards with other members. Before I knew it I was standing in front of Juice, "Hey, Nancy bail on you?" Juice looked a little disgusted, "I told her to fuck off." Ah. Good Juice. Good. I sat beside him, "Something wrong?" "I don't want to talk about it where the guys can hear," he almost whispered. "Then let's ride," I stood. He looked up at me, "Jax said we should stay put." He's right. DAMN. Fine. "Come on Juice, you always listen to my bullshit, it's my turn to listen for you," I offer my hand and he takes it. I lead him back to my room and shut the door. He sat on the edge of my bed and put his head in his hands. I was concerned, "Juice, you ok?" His eyes looked up at me, "Lots on my mind." I walk to him and take his hand, "Talk to me Juice, you know I am here." Before anything is said he has me in his arms, his face buried in my hair, "Juice?" He sobs a little. I hug him tight to me. Something is bothering him. He just holds onto me and after a few minutes I hear him whisper, "I just need to hold you." My heart melts. My sweet Juice. I hold him as tight as I can and he clings to me. This is the first time I've ever seen Juice like this. It's a little scary but I know sometimes there is just a time the men of this club have to let it all out. I saw Clay do it once with Gemma. I am sure Jax has before... now Juice.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes, "Tonight... when we saw Donna I could only think one thing." "What's that?," I asked. "What if it was you there instead," Juice confessed, "And it freaked me out." My eyes went wide at his confession. Juice was concerned for ME. I tilt my head catching his eyes, "Juice, we all take chances being a part of this life. It comes with the territory. Most get a choice ... mine was by birth. I could have never returned to Charming but this is my life. I accept it. Even if it is dangerous." He looks at me, "But if something happened to you Mar, I'd lose it." I smile a big smile. It's nice to know SOMEONE cares about me so much. "Juice..." "I'd lose my shit and kill every fucking person I thought responsible." My heart melts even more. I cupped Juice's cheek in my hand forcing him to meet my gaze, "Don't do that Juice. Nothing is gonna happen. I am going to be fine. I'm a Teller after all, we are rather hard to kill." Juice smirked a little, "I just... I saw Donna and I just ... I know it's crazy." "No Juice," I smiled sweetly, "It's the most caring thing anyone has said to me... ever." He looked at me, "I care, Mar." "I know you do Juicy," I replied. He pulled me into his arms, "I care so fucking much."

I don't know which one of us did it. All I remember is pulling back to look into those beautiful sad eyes of his and before I could think about it his lips were devouring mine. Oh My God. I am kissing Juice. Pull back Mar. Pull... Back... before... my hands wrapped around his neck deepening the kiss. I'm fucked. Every sense of reason in my body dissolved into nothingness. There was nothing but Juice and his lips on mine. I returned every one of his kisses with ones that matched his equally in passion and desire. When we pulled back we were both breathless. I was a little dizzy. Damn. Been waiting my whole life for a man to kiss me like that. "Wow," Juice whispered our foreheads against one another. I couldn't form words. His lips inched closer again and the reality of what happened today hit me harder than I wanted. I backed away. "What?," Juice asked. "We... we can't do that Juice," I explained. "Why?," he questioned. "You know why," I replied trying to catch my breath. "No, I don't," he spoke softly cupping my cheek, "All I know is I want to kiss you again." Damn you Juice stop saying shit like that. Quit pushing all the right buttons.

Juice pulled me tight against him, "All I know is that if I don't kiss you again, I'll never forgive myself." My eyes found his, "I know if I do kiss you again, I won't forgive myself." He let go with a hurt look on his face. Damn. "Juice. It's not that I don't want to kiss you. I do. I like kissing you. Very much in fact. Perhaps too much for my own good," I'm rambling now. Damn it Martha get to the fucking point idiot, "I just know, I want more than a kiss and if I keep kissing you we might cross a line that once it's crossed, there is no coming back from." Juice spoke up, "I'm willing to take that risk." "I'm not," I replied shakily, "I don't want you to lose your place in the Sons because you're doing WHATEVER with me. You KNOW they'd give you hell Juice. I don't want that for you." "You're worth it," his voice interrupted. Damn Juice don't say the right things. Not now. Please understand. "I can't have Clay or Jax take out their frustrations on you," I had tears forming in my eyes. It wouldn't just be Clay and Jax. Chibs would lay into Juice hot and heavy. Tig would rag him to death. Hell, almost all of the club would be on his case about me. "Princess of SAMCRO is a curse, Juice. I don't want to give it to you," the tears fell. How I wanted to though. How I wanted him to take me in his arms, kiss me, hold me... I just knew it was going to come with a price.

My conscience had kicked in now. Donna's death had shot a huge dose of reality into my veins. However much I wanted Juice, I would have to put it on hold. For him. I knew how much that Kutte meant to Juice. How much being a SON meant to him. His place was at that table. My place was in the shadows. I swallowed hard looking at him. His eyes were down cast. I knew he got it now. I knew by his silence he was done. My heart broke into a million pieces. I wanted to cry out. To throw myself into his arms. To forget it all. I took steps toward the door wanting to escape but suddenly his hand grabbed my arm, pulling me around, and crashing back into his lips.

"You're worth all of it," he whispered against my lips. I felt my knees go weak and he held me tight against him so I didn't collide with the ground. Tears were already flowing. I shouldn't be like this. This shouldn't be happening. When did I lose control of this situation? When did I... his lips grace mine again, "It's worth every thing just to have one single moment with you." He cupped my cheek and let his lips kiss down to my neck, "I'd risk all of this if it meant you were mine." That was the moment I lost the battle. You win Juice. My resolve was gone. "Juice," I whispered, "You're going to regret this." "Never," he replied as his lips slid up my neck and back to my lips, "How could I regret feeling this? Doing this? When it feel so damn right?" Point. Set. Match. Winner... Juan Carlos Ortiz.

I wanted to argue that this isn't right for him... but those lips, those words. Juice had me. I never expected him to be some damn romantic. Something I always longed for in a man. Between his sweet words and the kisses that set every inch of my body on fire I knew that I could no longer deny this. I pulled back and looked at him, "This won't end well for us Juice." "Who said it had to ever end?," he raised his eyebrows in question. "We don't know where this road will go Mar," Juice smiled as he kept his hand on my cheek, "All I know and all I care about is having you by my side, I can take on the entire damn world with you next to me. Beyond that, we take it one day at a time."

Wise. I wanted to come back with something equally as meaningful but it seems he kissed me and now I have the dumb. Yep he kissed the smart right out of Martha Teller. Fuck. I nodded stupidly as I gazed into those gorgeous eyes and let him continue, "All I know is I won't let anything hurt you... EVER." Do you Martha Teller take Juan Carlos to be your ... I shook my head as I pulled back. "Juice, the guys are gonna come down on you hard the moment the figure out any small indication about you and I." "Let them," he smiled knowingly, "I'm a big boy Mar, I can take it. I took my time as prospect." Yea you did, almost died 3 times too ya silly fuck. He cupped my cheek, "We can't walk away from this and not try then wonder what if." My last attempt at sanity... "I am warning you Juice," I was giving him every opportunity to bail, "I am clingy. I want more than you may be willing to give." His arms enveloped me, his lips danced over mine... "There is nothing you could want from me that I would EVER deny you." "You... this could just be a crush Juice..." "It's not a crush," he replied, "Crushes are for children." My eyes went wide as he leaned in, his lips inches from mine, "Mar, Words can't describe how you make me feel. All I know is being without you for a single second ... is torture. And I don't want to feel that ever again. I am yours Mar, completely." I love this man. I am so his. I crashed my lips into his feverishly. He didn't seem to mind one bit. His hands steadied my waist as we continued kissing. When we pulled back we both had lust in our eyes. But we both knew tonight wasn't the night for this.

Juice looked at me and took my hands in his, "I want to stay with you tonight, no sex, I just want to hold you." I smiled at the sweet look on his face, "Juice... is that wise?" "We'll leave the door cracked, sleep with clothes on. I just want to hold onto you and know you are safe in my arms," his eyes danced with a mixture of affection and desire. I nodded, "Then come to bed Juice." My hand pulled him with me towards the bed. He kicked off his boots as did I. Thank god I didn't wear a bra just a tank today. I sat down on the bed watching him slide the Kutte off and his eyes met mine, "This changes everything I know that." I raise my eyebrows at him as he continued, "I just can't..." "Juice," I hold my hand out and he takes it both of us pulling each other close losing ourselves in the feel of one another. I lean back turning off the lamp and snuggling against Juice's chest hearing him sigh contently. I feel his lips kiss my forehead and his arm stroke mine. "Juice?" "Yea Mar?" I lean up propping myself against his chest. Thankfully there is enough light still in the room from the crack in the door so I can make out that gorgeous face, "I am glad you are here with me." "I am too," he leans down and brushes his lips against mine, "There is no other place I'd rather be."

We'll deal with the world tomorrow. Tonight I am in the arms of the man I want more than anything in this world. Damn the world outside. Damn being the Princess of SAMCRO. Fuck it all. I place my hands over Juice's heart feeling it. It then dawned on me, I had won. I had set out to win the heart of Juan Carlos Ortiz and without knowing it, I had already won it. I looked up at him again. "What Mar?," he smiled. "I'm yours Juice," I whispered. His eyes filled with lust and desire. A huge smile formed over his face, the only kind that Juice could do, "Can I keep you?" I nodded, "If I can keep you." He nodded, "Forever." His lips again claimed mine and in my mind I swore that nothing would ever keep Juice and I apart.


End file.
